Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
________________________________________
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
________________________________________
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
________________________________________
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
________________________________________
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
________________________________________
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
________________________________________
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
________________________________________
If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?
________________________________________
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
________________________________________
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
________________________________________
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
________________________________________
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
________________________________________
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
________________________________________
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
________________________________________
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
________________________________________
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
________________________________________
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer when we complained about the heat?
________________________________________
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
________________________________________
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
2 comments:
Those are hilarious. My favorite though is this one:
If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?
I've asked people that for years. It's funny..they don't have an answer.
Here's one to add:
Why is it that when you know Barry is walking through a room and will get to you eventually, you have to charge the door and hover around him?
Answer me that!
Well I guess I'm safe because more than one of my best friends are.....
Post a Comment